Why Your Child is Struggling in School and What to Do

Ever found yourself wondering why your child’s academic journey feels like an uphill battle despite all the extra effort? What if there’s a secret ingredient to success that goes beyond textbooks and homework? In this blog post, I’m going to delve into what I have found to be the most common missing link for parents who are trying to help their kids improve academically but not seeing success.

Discovering this key might just be the game-changer you need to unlock not only academic achievements, but to really unlock a holistic and thriving educational experience for your child.

Understanding What the Academic Issue Means

I have conversations with parents all the time when there has been a change in their child’s academic performance. In my experience, parents tend to respond in three ways: enlisting the help of a tutor, doing more practice worksheets and packets at home, and/or seeking out special education services.

A sudden change in grades can be a cause for concern for parents. Even the most intelligent children can experience this and it often causes distress for both the child and the parent(s). Most people will immediately jump to tutoring and additional academic help because that seems to be the most logical or sensible solution. But there’s more to the story of academic success than going straight for the jugular to improve grades.

My first step is often to talk to the parent about what is going on to determine the severity of the issue. But there’s a difference between an occasional bad grade and a pattern of low grades. If you look at your child’s grades over the last school year or even the report card from the last quarter and bad grades seem to be few and far between, it likely isn’t cause for serious concern. But if you see that lower grades are becoming a pattern or are occurring more frequently than usual, you may have a more concerning underlying issue.

There is also the possibility of underlying learning difficulties or a learning disability but it’s best practice to look at all of the information that’s available to you before jumping to the idea that the child has a disability. Oftentimes, this issue can be remedied with what I’m talking about in this post.

In my experience, the most common indicator or warning sign for parents that their child is struggling is a change in their grades, but there are actually many potential signs of a struggling child outside of changes in grades. An article published by VeryWell Family mentions many signs that can suggest that kids are struggling in school including a refusal to talk about school, a change in attitude about school, an uptick in time (or excessive time) spent on homework, misbehaving at school, and even experiencing physical symptoms like poor sleep hygiene or changes in appetite, just to name a few.Â

So, if specialized instruction, tutoring, and additional practice at mastering the subject at hand isn’t what I recommend, what doI recommend?

My Hot Take on What’s Required to Achieve Academic Success

When kids face academic struggles, focusing on academics isn’t always the key to helping your kid succeed.

I know, it sounds contradictory. Let me explain.

According to researchers like Hyson, having good self-regulation abilities can predict success in math later on. Now, what does “self-regulation” mean? It’s like when a child can manage their thoughts, feelings, and actions really well. It’s not just about memorizing facts; it’s about being able to control impulses, stay focused, and handle challenges.

Similarly, the research findings point to a link between doing well in school and something called social-emotional learning. Basically, students who learn about feelings and how to get along with others scored higher in tests and got better grades.

Another group of researchers found that learning about feelings and getting along with others doesn’t just make you a nicer person; it actually helps you do better in school. They said it improves how kids grow emotionally, how ready they are to learn, how they behave in class, and how well they do in their studies.

So, what I’m saying is that even if your child has all the books and tutors, they might still struggle if they’re missing something else—something like what they need physically, socially, emotionally, or behaviorally. This is what I mean when I talk about serving or educating the whole child.

What to Do About It

1. Understand Covid Impact

2. Talk to Teacher(s)

One of the hardest parts of implementing the whole child approach is gathering the information or data necessary to make decisions. When do you notice the behavioral issues popping up? Are they mostly in the morning, or in the afternoon? Are all of the grades dropping, or just the grades in one class? You know that your child feels supported at home, but do they feel supported at school?

One of the best ways to gain insight into questions like these is to talk to your child’s teacher(s), with one of the main reasons being that they may have insight into your blindspots. You see your child outside of school and the teacher sees them during the school day. When you put your heads (and your information) together, you can see the full picture of how your child learns and behaves.

Open communication between parents/families and teachers can help you gain insight into school struggles and enhance your child’s learning experience at home. On the teacher’s end, help the teacher figure out what kind of extra support your child may need or respond best to in terms of social-emotional learning and behavior. You may also learn about things that the teacher is doing to help your child, such as modifying homework policies. The goal is to work together to identify the root cause of the problem.

3. Organize Learning Support

What I mean by this is enlisting the help of someone who may not be you or the teacher to help your child. The reason why outside learning support may be helpful is because your child’s school may not meet all needs (and your child also has needs outside of school), you as a parent may not know where to start to provide your child with additional support outside of school to bridge that gap.

A child may be having a difficult time with school due to mental health issues or behavior problems, and those don’t tend to be parents’ areas of expertise. This is often the point at which families may consult with someone like me to coach them through the process and create an intervention plan for them, especially if the student has an individual education plan, intellectual disabilities, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or other specific special education needs.

4. Implement a Whole-Child Approach

This is the big factor that often sets students apart in terms of experiencing academic success after having a difficult time with academics. This kind of approach focuses on enhancing a child’s strengths, and the good news is that you can start implementing it at any time.

Understanding the Whole Child Approach

This approach is about the big picture. It’s about looking at academic success beyond academics and approaching the goal by meeting your child’s needs, especially the essential ones that aren’t directly related to school. In a study by the Learning Policy Institute, they discussed new knowledge about human development from neuroscience and the sciences of learning and development that demonstrates that effective learning depends on secure attachments, affirming relationships, rich, hands-on learning experiences; and explicit integration of social, emotional, and academic skills.

Educating the whole child isn’t just about books and tests, and it isn’t solely about doing things that lead to academic success. The most important thing is that you look at all the things that make a child who they are and provide support for them at large.

Here are four important areas to think about:

So, to wrap this up, doing well in school is more than just doing homework and taking tests. It’s about helping the whole child grow: from learning to control their actions to understanding their feelings, every part is important for a child’s journey in school.

As a parent or guardian, knowing how all these parts work together lets you help your child in a special way. By looking at both what they have and what they might need, you help your child not only do well in school but also grow into a successful person. You also create a safe space for them to learn and grow while in your care. So, the next time you feel like school is hard, remember it’s about more than just books—it’s about all the things that make your child who they are.

TL;DR: Why focusing on academics isn’t helping your kid, academically

I know this was a long one so if you scrolled to this point, I’ve got you with a recap!

Basically, addressing a child’s academic struggles requires a comprehensive approach that goes beyond traditional solutions like tutoring or extra practice. While changes in grades can be concerning, it’s essential to consider various factors before jumping to conclusions. The whole-child approach emphasizes the importance of meeting a child’s needs in different areas of life, including physical well-being, social development, emotional well-being, and behavioral regulation.

It’s also important to understand that academic challenges may be influenced by factors such as the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic. Collaborating with teachers helps you gain insights into your child’s behavior and learning patterns, which creates space for a more informed decision-making process. You may also need some additional learning support to bridge gaps in areas where you may lack expertise.

Implementing a whole-child approach involves recognizing that academic success is intertwined with a child’s overall growth and well-being. This approach considers neuroscience and the sciences of learning and development, highlighting the importance of secure attachments, affirming relationships, and the integration of social, emotional, and academic skills. Supporting a child’s physical, social, emotional, and behavioral needs creates a foundation for success in school and beyond.

That’s it! Always remember, you’ve got this.